Am I That Happy a Person?

Several times I've been told that I am a happy person. Perky, carefree, happy all the time. But, why DON'T I feel happy all the time? I guess it's a good thing because at least I won't bring the people near me into a bad mood. In fact, I feel guilty if I made someone sad so I might as well keep it to myself.
So, here's the big shocker... I'm actually not happy ALL the time. I mean it's virtually IMPOSSIBLE for someone to be happy all the time. Like Helloo... I AM HUMAN. Sheesh!
I was once told that I was HATED because I liked to perk a lot. Perk a lot?? When i first heard that, I was like, "What in the world does THAT mean?"
I don't always tell the world that I am sad or upset or annoyed because I think of other people's lives which are FAR more suckier than mine and you don't see them make a big deal out of it. I see people go through SO much more which makes whatever I do seem like a stroll in the park. I feel like I don't have the right to be sad. Besides that, my life so far is good. No MAJOR heartbreakers or MAJOR setbacks yet.... (which hopefully when it comes, it doesn't become too much of a blow) Then again, every little happy thing that comes my way, I make a big deal out of it. Just so that I can tell myself that "I am lucky". Something I learned from my mom. There's nothing you can do about it. Ya just gotta make the best out of every situation.
Sometimes, I feel the looks pointed towards me are those with suspicion. Like I am some plague that they should stay away from. This is probably one of my paranoid thoughts but how can I deny it? There are some that I can tell is genuine and some that I THINK is genuine but could just be trying to trick me. Still, you can feel those walls coming up RIGHT in front of you. And then the daggers that rain down from those looks just beat you to the ground.
In fact, this blog provided a very good outage for these paranoid thoughts. Rather than dumping them on someone else and making them sad or annoyed, I throw it out here. So yes, I write A LOT. It's ok if people read it or not. It doesn't really matter I guess. But if they actually do, it's nice to just throw me a truly truly genuine smile or acknowledment to push away my stupid sense of paranoia.
In the end, I've just gotta learn to push away random thoughts from my mind and just focus on the main things

"Don't ever let the world change the way you are"