Colours are very important

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yes, yes, Why in the world would I start with a HAHAHAHAHA.
Well, it's because I just realised how silly I was  xD
Previously, I was wondering why ALL the COLOURS on the blog was SO boring and then I SUDDENLY somehow pressed some buttons and tweeked it here and there and now I can put colours :D

Weeeeeeee.. Now I can put as many colours as I want!!!  :D HAHAHAHA

LOL

:)

Someone told me that my blog is scary. WOW Wonder if it's a good thing or a bad thing? HAHAHAHA
I know maybe I kinda overkilled it with all the freakishly depressing stuff and may make me look like some kind of loony with a sad depressing life. hehee
but it's like a phase I guess. There will always be a certain time I will start babbling like that or stare at you with an evil stare but it is nonetheless a phase
;]
Annnnnnnyways....... Hols are like so.. hm.... NICE :)
People are busy posting on their facebook and like saying everywhere that it's boring and all but I STILL enjoy my HOls :P
I've got loads I could do actually. Maybe just lepak also can ya know :) Of course, if ya bored or something, feel free to like I donno send me a message or facebook me. haha... makes things more fun ;P
well, so far, my to-do-list for hols includes:
- Give Lillie a haircut
- Bath the dogs
- Finish up maths and science homework =.=
- Do piano work! :O
- Learn how to roller blade? >:] or maybe ice skate. haha
- Bake cookies!! :D
- Clean bedroom

There's PLENTY of room for extra stuff. Wonder what else I could do.....

HOLS babeh!

The hols are finally here!! :D OMG... last day of school actually turned out pretty fun :)We had swimming last which is PE and THAT was definitely tiring but great ;]

Gosh! This hols I will definitely do what i intend to. I always never finish the list of things I wanna do. So, I've decided this time I'm not gonna make a list. I'll just do whatever comes to mind. HAHAHA

I feel so over the moon now :D Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
LOL or maybe KKK. HAHAHAHA

Am I That Happy a Person?

Several times I've been told that I am a happy person. Perky, carefree, happy all the time. But, why DON'T I feel happy all the time? I guess it's a good thing because at least I won't bring the people near me into a bad mood. In fact, I feel guilty if I made someone sad so I might as well keep it to myself.
So, here's the big shocker... I'm actually not happy ALL the time. I mean it's virtually IMPOSSIBLE for someone to be happy all the time. Like Helloo... I AM HUMAN. Sheesh!
I was once told that I was HATED because I liked to perk a lot. Perk a lot?? When i first heard that, I was like, "What in the world does THAT mean?"
I don't always tell the world that I am sad or upset or annoyed because I think of other people's lives which are FAR more suckier than mine and you don't see them make a big deal out of it. I see people go through SO much more which makes whatever I do seem like a stroll in the park. I feel like I don't have the right to be sad. Besides that, my life so far is good. No MAJOR heartbreakers or MAJOR setbacks yet.... (which hopefully when it comes, it doesn't become too much of a blow) Then again, every little happy thing that comes my way, I make a big deal out of it. Just so that I can tell myself that "I am lucky". Something I learned from my mom. There's nothing you can do about it. Ya just gotta make the best out of every situation.
Sometimes, I feel the looks pointed towards me are those with suspicion. Like I am some plague that they should stay away from. This is probably one of my paranoid thoughts but how can I deny it? There are some that I can tell is genuine and some that I THINK is genuine but could just be trying to trick me. Still, you can feel those walls coming up RIGHT in front of you. And then the daggers that rain down from those looks just beat you to the ground.
In fact, this blog provided a very good outage for these paranoid thoughts. Rather than dumping them on someone else and making them sad or annoyed, I throw it out here. So yes, I write A LOT. It's ok if people read it or not. It doesn't really matter I guess. But if they actually do, it's nice to just throw me a truly truly genuine smile or acknowledment to push away my stupid sense of paranoia.
In the end, I've just gotta learn to push away random thoughts from my mind and just focus on the main things

"Don't ever let the world change the way you are"

Depression is over :)

Wow... what in the world was wrong with me? HAHAHA
Check out the first two posts. SO emo. Well, like I said, this blog is a window to my mind. You only get a glimpse in, not a way in.
Today, I'm happy :) I think it's the random emo hormones xD
I realised the internet is actually a very depressing place.
1. Staring at a rectangular thingy
2. Moving fingers without moving mouth
3. Laughing at the rectangular thingy when you see something funny
4. Sitting alone with a rectangular thingy
5. The rectangular thingy spoils eyes

Haha... Well, father's day today =D my dad requested curry laksa yesterday and today claypot chicken rice specially made by my dearest momma :]
Now, my dad's fixing the computer that died. RIP... my old comp
Looks like he's gonna change some parts and it will never be the same again. but then again, that was quite a lousy comp. haha.. it was SO slow. still, GOODBYE..
and HELLO! to new stuff ;)

What Am I To Do?

It feels like there's a void in myself. I know what my goal is but it seems too... far away and if that goal isn't succeeded, what am I to do?
We must live in the moment and just do whatever on the spot. I need something to do. Something to look forward to everyday.
People I can turn to in excitement. Someone I look forward to seeing every day. Something I want to do everyday.
Sinking into this emptyness where my life is. yes yes... there are things in there. fascinating things. But, I', not doing much with them.
So, many secret wishes in my mind will never be fulfilled. So many wishes that in time will disappear. So many things I wish to do but just don't have the guts to initiate them.

What am I to do?

I know I'm not perfect

There will always be people who hate you. It's something we can't avoid. As someone once told me: "If everyone likes you, you would be president already"
It's annoying when you feel like people are conspiring behind your back. I used to think it's just paranoia. But time and time again, these paranoid thoughts become reality. It's like knowing a little bit of something that everyone knows everything about.
I should tell myself that, it doesn't matter. Just ignore it. or maybe, it's over, it's the past. But that's not particularly easy to do. The best way is to NOT think.
Block everything out or make yourself so busy that you don't have time to think.
The inside door should just be closed and exclusive. The outer lawn be easily assessible.
So, AM i paranoid? Either way, it's still a loss. People change ALL the time. Whom I used to think was mean is kind, was nice is evil, was good is bad, was harmless is highly dangerous.

Well, all this crap, came from somewhere in my head. Whether or not this makes sense, it makes sense to me.

Nice place to live in : Berlin

The life of a Berliner looks great to an outside eye
Great public transportation with buses, trains, taxis. ALso bicycles are everywhere.
You get to keep fit and cycle to anywhere with proper bike lanes. No pollution. The air is as fresh as ever.
Tickets for buses and trains are sold but there are no barriers. You are MEANT to buy them. They just conduct regular checks to make sure you buy them. otherwise, people are so honest.
The people are so polite too. They don't exactly smile at you like they've known you for centuries. They acknowledge you without creeping you out.
The roads and buildings are really really clean too. Great place to be
Oh, the weather. Oh.. yesh. great weather.

This is the type of city you'd imagine in your dreams. well, I guess if you wanna live there comfortably, my advice, LEARN GERMAN! :D

Auf Wiederschien :)

New design

My blog needs a new look... HAHAHA anymore ideas? I changed the design
but I'll take my time to improve it ^_^